I am looking into getting what I have referred to as the Zemation network and decided to leave this to the personal post that you sometimes just need to get out. When I got here I was a little surprised to see that its been two years, let alone the fact the I didn’t really know what I wanted or needed to put here.
More of a reflection of how tired i am. I’m tired of worrying about every little thing. I’m tired of tracking every penny, I’m tired of having to know that I can’t let my kids play outside without wondering each and every moment all the horrific things that could happen. I’m tired of feeling alone and isolated when I’m surrounded by friends and family all the time. I’m tired of not having the energy to study the things I need to get out of support. I’m tired of wondering whats wrong with my relationship thats been bothering me. I’m tired of feeling like I’m a shitty storyteller who is more along the lines of an idea generator and not a completer. I’m tired of feeling like theres some way i’m failing my kids even though i don’t know what it is. I’m tired of feeling worthless all the time. I’m tired of feeling like i’m gonna snap at any moment and break down. I’m tired of being responsible. I’m tired of holding back. I’m tired of being the nice guy. I’m tired of being the nerd. I’m tired of being the scapegoat. I’m tired of feeling as if i have so few aspirations.
What is it that drives those the accomplish things. What is it that keeps them going when others give up.