It lasted 5 months. Three for me to make the mistake. After my time earning my education it was time to move on. All of my friends had left but a few and one would be joining us not much longer after. I moved in with a friend and his girlfriend. By the time it was over, there had been six people living in a two bedroom apartment. I won’t deny now that I’m sorry about how things went down, but at the same time I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again.
The days were drinking and gaming. We weren’t ready for responsibility. Sure I soon got a job working for tech support on MSN browser service. There was a lot of proximity and a lot of learning.
At first it was fine. I had almost two grand in readjustment that should be able to take care of things for a bit, but I had to learn how to live in the real world. Truth be told I wouldn’t learn that yet. What I would learn is that nobody can be alone forever. I was there around the first child was born. I was there through the disrespect. I was there through the fighting. At the time I wasn’t a fan of her. At the time I thought she was childish and annoying. But at the time i was there, for her. That turned to compassion, then to fondness that made my life for a few months complicated. I was the other guy.
Know that at the end of that 5 months I drove home to Missouri, dropping her off in Denver and visiting Dal and Blue on the way. What I know now is that neither of us were the people we needed to be. We were young, dumb and naive. I went back to the place I didn’t want to be, without the person I wanted and feeling a lot like I had nothing to show for it but the car that drive me there that I no longer had a job to pay for.
I needed something that at the time I didn’t know what. There was a hole she filled. There was that was being replaced with regret and a little bit of hate and resentment. There was a bit of shame for the friendship that was lost. She knows that. We talk about it sometimes. Shes my wife. And I’m still here.