Tenth Chapter – End of an Era

It lasted 5 months.  Three for me to make the mistake.  After my time earning my education it was time to move on.  All of my friends had left but a few and one would be joining us not much longer after.  I moved in with a friend and his girlfriend.  By the time it was over, there had been six people living in a two bedroom apartment.  I won’t deny now that I’m sorry about how things went down, but at the same time I can’t say I wouldn’t do it again.

The days were drinking and gaming.   We weren’t ready for responsibility.  Sure I soon got a job working for tech support on MSN browser service.  There was a lot of proximity and a lot of learning.

At first it was fine.  I had almost two grand in readjustment that should be able to take care of things for a bit, but I had to learn how to live in the real world.   Truth be told I wouldn’t learn that yet.   What I would learn is that nobody can be alone forever.  I was there around the first child was born.   I was there through the disrespect.  I was there through the fighting.   At the time I wasn’t a fan of her.  At the time I thought she was childish and annoying.  But at the time i was there,  for her. That turned to compassion,  then to fondness that made my life for a few months complicated.   I was the other guy.

Know that at the end of that 5 months I drove home to Missouri, dropping her off in Denver and visiting Dal and Blue on the way. What I know now is that neither of us were the people we needed to be.  We were young, dumb and naive.  I went back to the place I didn’t want to be, without the person I wanted and feeling a lot like I had nothing to show for it but the car that drive me there that I no longer had a job to pay for.

I needed something that at the time I didn’t know what.   There was a hole she filled.  There was that was being replaced with regret and a little bit of hate and resentment.  There was a bit of shame for the friendship that was lost.  She knows that.  We talk about it sometimes.  Shes my wife.  And I’m still here.

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