I can’t tell how many memories of school I have forgotten at this point. When you live a big part of those years wanting to be unnoticed, not many memories are made. The ones you do are normally due to the raw emotion tied up in them. When you are the class nerd, the ones you remember, are less likely to be positive.
Deep inside, when you want to give up, you find the reasons to keep pushing forward. You want to prove that the things people say aren’t true. You want the ways they treat you, the physical and emotional abuse is pushed down. That is where I let it collect, to reinforce and strengthen me.
This is in no way saying that all the memories were bad. There is good and bad to damn near every thing. I can remember faces of so many people and it’s not just because social media. I remember the people that I graduated with then. Some of it is a hazy dream of a memory.
I can remember fourth grade is when I first got glasses. In fifth grade we, or our parents, put together a notebook on the state of Missouri. I remember an entertainment center I put together in shop class that basically illustrated my ineptitude at construction. The same class with apple iie computers that had Zork, or first playing wolfenstein on the ag computers. I remember comments of pretty in purple or building floats for the parades when the fair came through.
I remember a lot and I give credit to all of it for being some of the blocks in the foundation of the man I have become. I still have every yearbook from every grade from kindergarten to senior graduation. They are keepsakes now. They sit on a shelf so my kids can see daddys school years. But it’s only part of the story. And there is still so much to tell.