When you are reading anything on the internet, one of the biggest mistakes you can make is to assume emotional context of any writer whether it be, weblog, article, or instant message. This is something that is becoming quite clear to me that everybody automatically does. “Oh, I know just how they feel.”
No you don’t. You live in a world and you have problems very similar but you are dealing with them in different ways. You may know what they mean but even that is quite limited. A very good example I have recently was Nilesta’s rant about marketing. Now, I understood that her problem was with marketing, I even went to mention that I understand that a woman’s uphill battle for true equality is neverending and society will have us believing that they belong in the kitchen with an apron a kid in one hand, a laundry basket in the other and dinner in the oven. All throughout the man is doing nothing, while the kids destroy the house, cause he is lazy and watching a sports exhibition of any type. I get that while this is the stereotypical idea of a household in this day and age of equal rights it is unacceptable.
I never like the idea of the fifties style wife. I believe a woman has just as much responsibility has a man does and should be given the same capabilites and rights to live up to those responsibilites. If I made enough money where my wife didn’t have to work I wouldn’t ask her to, but I wouldn’t stop her from it. I have been known to bitch about schedules and other things and have unrightfully complained from what seems to be a sexist perception.
What happened with me in my interpretation of Nilesta’s article was when she started about men being Neanderthals. I saw a break in the article that wasn’t actually there when in reality she was taking an opposite approach based on personal opinions about what she can and can’t say as a woman without being a bitch that the marketing geniuses do and try to make us laugh.
I saw the break as saying, “because of this type of stuff I feel men to be like this” and then the part that got me started. While it wasn’t necessarily that I was feeling unappreciated in my own life, I felt it was about clearing up a misconception that in fact wasn’t necessarily there.
I’ve had people go off on me because of something I said innocently through instant message because they thought I was mad. You have know way to tell those things through a digital conversation so don’t try. You can not express to me the most passionate of emotions about me when you’ve never had anything but instant message conversations with me. (Yes thats happened to me.) I cannot assume right away that I know what you are saying even if I do pay attention to the article because I miss out on the frame of mind, the emotional state, and the ver essence that inspired you to write about that topic in the first place.
I’m having this problem almost everyday now with the woman I love. She doesn’t know how she feels anymore. Her life obviously didn’t turn out with what she was expecting. I can’t change that. She tells me all the time things that she wants and the way she says things inevitably determines whether I know what she meant and that isn’t even text based.
So think about it. Just because it was said, doesn’t mean you understand it and you definitely don’t understand the eomotional frame of mind.