In the end, it doesn’t even matter

It has been said quite often that you only get out of a relationship what you put into it.  This, in fact, is only true to a point.  Over the period of the last year I’ve went through the trials.  I’ve overcome a lot of pain, more then I’ve probably ever done.  I’ve persevered through it multitude of emotions.  Now I feel that if something doesn’t change in a matter of weeks it will all be for nothing.

It’s a hard thing when you love somebody so much and they’re not sure if they love you anymore.  It hurts in places you didn’t know you could feel pain.  Leaves you broken and shallow in a pool of your own sentimental regurgitation.

We’re supposed to be undertaking a fresh start.  Wiping out the bad times, the problem I see with that is in the process we wipe out the previous good times and she can forget those things that allowed to to express her affections in the first place.

So many things happen and we’re lost in this point of confustion struggling to find out what we feel anymore about how much this is worth it.  I feel quite often the starting statement isn’t true if I’m giving all the love in the world and not getting anything back.

It feels the best thing for me to do is get back to the root me and then work on the root of us.

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