We moved in September of 2006. Three years later we were married. The time in between was a trial of testing compatibility mode features and the necessity to work through the issues with the people we were to become the people we needed to be. Fixing bugs, system crashes, conflicts, malware, spyware and so on.
I can see it was a stressful time and to look at us now I can tell you two things. 1. It helped make us the people we needed to be. 2. It was fucking worth it. I wouldn’t trade my wife for anything.
When we moved back though I believe there was a sufficient amount of resentment from both of us. She went to work first. Working a Graveyard shift while I got to stay home with the boy. I actually regret that to some extent now because there is a certain relationship that I have with him that she doesn’t. But that changes for our second born where she spent more time with him at the same stage where their relationship is stronger. We’ll get there.
There would be friends though, that didn’t really see our relationship trying to judge situations they didn’t understand and actually try to ruin it. This wasn’t the first time either. Before we left California, another person I thought was a friend really tried to dig in that I was a bad person, without reason or justification.
I have no problems admitting that I have made mistakes in this relationship. We both have. Shit, we still do. We have grown infinitely better about dealing with them. Accepting responsibility for them. And apologizing for them. There are times now that I know I took her for granted and theres times I know she took me for granted. We worked through that and where we are now, we feel is much stronger. Sure there are other factors of an individual nature for both of us that contributed as well.
My unemployment at this time lasted about 5 months. A large problem during this time however was the amount of money made was not enough to continue to pay for the Sunfire I had purchased years prior. They also though we were running with the car and started harassing family in other states so I voluntarily relinquished it. I actually miss the car, even to this day even if I like the car I have now.
If felt at times like we were drowning. This increased the frustration. This increased the resentment. However, with the child being born, the tax returns from 2006 were substantially more than we were used to. So a deal was made. We took a flight to my home with our tax returns, so the family there could meet our child. Upon return I would get a job as soon as possible, which would end up supporting the most popular systems of one of the largest computer manufacturers in the world.
This was my element again.