It occurs to me that while I may say a lot of things on the fly, menial things with no point or value or possibility of successful completion, that theres an equal number of important or enormous things for which I don’t. Most of the time, it’s lucid ideas induced by a need to do something more with my life. I despise feeling like this current situation I’m in allows me to freely express creativity and opinions that are suffocating in a factory.
However, it does allow me plenty of time to think. This isn’t always a good thing and not always a bad thing. While sometimes it grants me time to work on a new prospect, or different ways of view the current ones, it also can begin a track of depressing conjurings of the subconscious mind spawning misplaced emotions or unacquired desires.
One time it may very well be the fact that I’m stuck in a dead end job with only dreams of more career oriented aspirations. While that is one thing I may contemplate during my repetitive daily twelve hour routine, it is far from the only one.
For about two and a half years now somethings been missing from my life. I never could place my finger on it. Mostly because I was thinking more about the overwhelming joy that the one last one was gone I never thought about the necessary replacements; replacement’, YES, thought about that all the time. However, I think the ideal ones was the wrong way to approach this. Today I realized though that the one that fits is unattainable and until such time is over, if ever, will remain both unknown and more than likely, misunderstood in this context.